When I first heard what our Focus was for this weeks Click of the Wild challenge, I felt like this...
I nearly panicked! (Ok, so maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration but the above picture truly does express how I feel about being on the front side of the camera...I'm much more comfortable on the back side, shooting! This shot was a completely candid moment captured by Bobbie at our last Nerd Night. Even though, at the time, I didn't know what our next focus word would be, I thought this shot totally went with how I felt.)
On a more serious note (pun intended), these next few shots were in the finals for today's focus. Ultimately though, I ended up going with the first B&W image for COTW. Reason being, like most people I like to laugh, have a good time and usually try to keep things "light". But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, and it's just me and the four walls of my home, I'm a thinker. And this first image seems to represent how I view "me" outside of Facebook and away from the rest of the world. So yes, as hard as it is to admit, I tend to over think things, pondering all the "what ifs" ...Did I get on my kids too harshly? Did I get on them hard enough? Did I show them by example what grace is? Am I teaching them enough the importance of prayer? AM I praying enough??? Why did I lose my cool over the 2nd box of cereal being spilled? How can I be a positive influence for my girls?
Without going into too much detail, most of you know this past year has been quite a ride for me. It's no secret, it's been one that hasn't been easiest. But even while saying that, I truly believe there is good in almost every situation, you just have to look for it. And sometimes, the curve balls that life throws at us, makes it a little harder than what we like, pushing us to an uncomfortable level to find the positives. But I believe this is where the tide breaks...Simply put, good people always rise! Even in really bad situations, much worse than what I've ever had to experience, if you look around you will see the 'good' in other people through the compassion they have for others...It's expressions of our Saviour through the works of their hands and the kindness in their hearts. And I think that folks, is the 'good' that He has intended for us to exhibit all the way along! Witnessing so many blessings from so many good hearted people recently, is humbling to say the least.
While believing in staying humble, over the past few months, I have purposely been learning how to truly 'like' myself again...As in finding and doing things that I enjoy and not just trying to please other people. Because, I've realized one thing, that can be exhausting and let's face it, some people you just can't please. Have I arrived? No, not yet, and I'll even go on to say, I don't think "arriving" is necessarily a destination, it is more about the journey. Traveling the road to a happier place takes being conscience of our own existence and conscience of the decisions we make. Ultimately, if we do this, we play a big part in defining the outcome of our own happiness. Ground breaking, huh? ha! All kidding aside, that sounds so simple but I think sometimes we get so caught up in living day to day, that life leads us instead of us leading life. Another part of this growth has also been learning to like not only what's on the inside but also like what I see in the mirror. I love everything about photography, even the nerdy, geeky, technical stuff but hated to see my own self in pictures. So recently, I've even pushed myself to be in more of my own photographs in some form or another, both alone and with my girls.
With all that being said, when I was given the focus word of "self" for this weeks COTW increment, I thought about how it pertained to where I am in my life right now. I tried to capture who I am...Molly. So here she is, both the relaxed, "real me" side and also the more serious side that is ever so present. No, these pictures aren't the best because they were taken in about a span of fifteen minutes but they will have to work!
Whew! That was a heavy mouth full ...during this process, I've learned something else, it's hard to be your own photographer!!! Ha! Thanks to the timer mode on my camera, I've been able to complete this weeks challenge. ;)
This next image is what I like to refer to as my "safe haven" shot. My safe haven is winding down after a busy week on a Friday night with the sound of my girls playing behind me, a cup of coffee lying on the floor with a fire keeping my feet warm. Perfection! (The only thing missing is my phone...You know, got to check out what's happening on social media! lol)
One last picture...
So, there you have it. That's all my "Self" shots. Sure hope our next "focus" word is easier than this weeks challenge. Alicia, that was a tough one!